A Dog Will Flatter You

Australians Are Decent People With The Right Instincts And They Wish Everybody Well; But If All Is Not Well, It Is None Of Their Business And They Will Not Lose Too Much Sleep Over It. The Shrug Of The Shoulders Has Become - Only Temporarily, I Daresay - The National Gesture Of Australia.

Japan Suffered Terribly From The Atomic Bomb But Never Adopted A Pose Of Moral Superiority, Implying: 'we Would Never Have Done It!' The Japanese Know Perfectly Well They Would Have Used It Had They Had It. They Accept The Idea That War Is War; They Give No Quarter And Accept None. Total War, They Recognize, Knows No Queensberry Rules. If You Develop A Devastating New Weapon During A Total War, You Use It; You Do Not Put It Into The War Museum.

I Asked Many Friends If Australian Anti-intellectualism Was Still A Living Force And They All Told Me It Was. If You Are Above Average Intelligence, Hide This Embarrassing Fact.

You Must Not Refuse Any Additional Cups Of Tea Under The Following Circumstances: If It Is Hot; If It Is Cold; If You Are Tired; If Anybody Thinks That You Might Be Tired; If You Are Nervous; If You Are Gay; Before You Go Out; If You Are Out; If You Have Just Returned Home; If You Feel Like It; If You Do Not Feel Like It; If You Have Had No Tea For Some Time; If You Have Just Had A Cup.

The World Still Consists Of Two Clearly Divided Groups: The English And The Foreigners. One Group Consists Of Less Than 50 Million People; The Other Of 3,950 Million. The Latter Group Does Not Really Count.