A Fly Was Very Close

When I Get A Cold Sore, I Put Carmex On It, Because Carmex Is Supposed To Alleviate Cold Sores. I Don't Know If It Does Help, But It Will Make Them More Shiny And Noticeable. It's Like Cold-sore-highlighter. Maybe They Could Come Up With An Arrow That Heals Cold Sores.

Once I Saw A Duck Walking Down The Street So I Went Into Subway And Ordered Two Pieces Of Bread, And They Informed Me That They Could Not Do That, Like There Was Some Speical Rule At Subway That Two Pieces Of Bread Weren't Allowed To Touch. So The Woman Asked Me What I Wanted On The Sandwich And I Said I Do Not Care, It Is For A Duck, And She Was Like Oh Then It's Free. I Was Not Aware That Ducks Eat For Free At Subway. It's Like Give Me A Chicken Fajita Sub, But Don't Worry About Ringing It Up, It Is For A Duck.

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall.

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall. If I Buy A Candy Bar At The Store, Oftentimes I Will Drop It So That Is Achieves Its Maximum Flavor Potential.

I Make Myself A Bowl Of Instant Oatmeal, And Then I Don't Do Anything For An Hour. Why Do I Need The Instant Oatmeal? I Could Get The Regular Oatmeal And Feel Productive.