A Friend Of Mine Gave

My Classmates Would Copulate With Anything That Moved, But I Never Saw Any Reason To Limit Myself.

I've Been At Stand-up 26 Years Now: After A While, You Get As Jaded As The Proverbial Gynecologist Who No Longer Enjoys Drugging And Violating His Patients.

Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage, But Rarely If Ever Do They Fit.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.

The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was An Exploding Suppository.