A Lot Of Crafters, They're

I Choose To Do Unattractive People, Because Then I Can Pretend They Think They're Attractive.

Sometimes, To Keep Things Exciting, I Decorate My House As If I Owned A Child. I'll Toss A Tiny Pair Of Shoes In The Hallway Or Lean Small Wooden Crutches In What I Refer To As 'the Baby's Room,' Which Is Actually A Tiny Space Where I Make Things. I Continue To Call It The Baby's Room Because It Confuses People And It's Creepy.

I Swear I Want To Be A Food Model.

It's Natural For Humans To Suppress Urges, For When Our Desires Are Left Unchecked They Lead To Broken Relationships, Prison Time, And Forest Fires.

As My Guests Leave Even My Most Simple Parties, I Consistently Hear The Same Thing: 'that Was The Best Time I Ever Had,' And It's Always Me Saying It. But I Do Know In My Heart They All Feel The Same Way, Probably.