A Luxury Liner Is Really

Bjorn Borg Looks Like A Hunchbacked, Jut-bottomed Version Of Lizabeth Scott, Impersonating A Bearded Apache Princess.

The Canadian Version Of Julius Caesar's Memoirs? I Came, I Saw, I Coped.

Even In Moments Of Tranquility, Murray Walker Sounds Like A Man Whose Trousers Are On Fire.

The Benson And Hedges Cup Was Won By Mcenroe ... He Was As Charming As Always, Which Means That He Was As Charming As A Dead Mouse In A Loaf Of Bread.

Once, Bbc Television Had Echoed Bbc Radio In Being A Haven For Standard English Pronunciation. Then Regional Accents Came In: A Democratic Plus. Then Slipshod Usage Came In: An Egalitarian Minus. By Now Slovenly Grammar Is Even More Rife On The Bbc Channels Than On Itv. In This Regard A Decline Can Be Clearly Charted... If The Bbc, Once The Guardian Of The English Language, Has Now Become Its Most Implacable Enemy, Let Us At Least Be Grateful When The Massacre Is Carried Out With Style.