A Priest In New York

It's The First Day Of Spring. That Means This Weekend I'll Take Down My Christmas Lights.

President Obama Went To India, South Korea, Then Japan. He's Going To Keep Travelling Until He Finds His Birth Certificate.

When You Think About Flying, It's Nuts Really. Here You Are At About 40,000 Feet, Screaming Along At 700 Miles An Hour And You're Sitting There Drinking Diet Pepsi And Eating Peanuts. It Just Doesn't Make Any Sense.

Don't Worry About Me. I Plan To Continue To Be In Show Business. I Have Already Been Booked To Be In A Production Of 'the Sunshine Boys' With Jay Leno.

How About Those Olympics, Ladies And Gentlemen. Didn't London Look Like The Place To Be? New York City Was In The Running For This Olympics. But Here's What Happened. We Got Outbribed.