After I Got My First

I'm A Sensitive Guy. If You Are A Woman And You're In Any Kind Of Emotional Duress And You Write A Song About It, I'll Buy You Album.

To Be A Comedian, You Have To Have Some Darkness Behind It. I Certainly Draw On My Past, And It Helps.

I Have Insanely Dorky Taste. Basically, If You're A Woman, And You're Under Any Kind Of Emotional Duress, And You Sing A Song, I Will Listen To It Forever. It's Odd Being A 37-year-old Heterosexual Male Who Owns Nothing But Sarah Mclachlan And Tori Amos. But I'll Go Against That At First And Play Something Boring Like James Taylor.

I Used To Be A Real Prince Charming If I Went On A Date With A Girl. But Then I'd Get To Where I Was Likely To Have A Stroke From The Stress Of Keeping Up My Act. I've Since Learned The Key To A Good Date Is To Pay Attention On Her.

I Got Sober Because I Was Worried I Was Going To Die Next Year.