Alimony Is Like Buying Hay

A Thing That Has Always Baffled Me About Women Is That They Will Saturate Themselves With A Pint Of Perfume, A Pound Of Sachet Powder, An Evil-smelling Lip Rouge, A Peculiar-smelling Hair Ointment And A Half-dozen Varieties Of Body Oils, And Then Have The Effrontery To Complain Of The Aroma Of A Fine Dollar Cigar.

I'm Going To Iowa For An Award. Then I'm Appearing At Carnegie Hall, It's Sold Out. Then I'm Sailing To France To Be Honored By The French Government - I'd Give It All Up For One Erection.

Thirteen At A Table Is Unlucky Only, When The Hostess Has Only Twelve Chops.

I Can't Understand Why You Don't Get Any Mail From Me. Perhaps It's Because I Haven't Been Writing

Love Had Forged Ahead So Swiftly That In No Time It Had Displaced Agriculture As The Leading Industry Of The Period. To Anyone Who Has Tried Both, This Wont Come As Much Of A Surprise.