All I Ever Learned At

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing. There's No Use Doing It Now, It Doesn't Fit Anybody I Know.

I Admit, I Have A Tremendous Sex Drive. My Boyfriend Lives Forty Miles Away.

Nothing Was Happening In The Bedroom. I Nicknamed Our Waterbed The Dead Sea.

Self-pity Is Better Than None.