All My Available Funds Are

Comedy Is A Serious Business. A Serious Business With Only One Purpose--to Make People Laugh.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.

Philadelphia, Wonderful Town, Spent A Week There One Night

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.