All My Romantic Stories Are

I Don't Walk Around Talking About My Life And Spouting My Philosophy To People I Don't Know. I Mean, If I Get To Know Them, I'll Talk For Hours. I Guess I Like A Lower-key Scene.

I Force People To Have Coffee With Me, Just Because I Don't Trust That A Friendship Can Be Maintained Without Any Other Senses Besides A Computer Or Cellphone Screen.

We've Got To Force The Democrats To Get A Spine. If They Don't Want To Have A Spine, We Should Throw Them Out. If They Don't Want To Stand Up For The Rule Of Law, Then I'm Not A Democrat.

I Was Only In One Of The John Hughes Films, And I Never Saw The Other Ones. I Didn't Understand Them. I Kept Hearing A Really Hip 40-year-old Person Talking In Teenagers' Mouths.

I've Seen The People Who Talk About Their Love Lives In Print Invariably Have Doomed Relationships With The Person They're Talking About.