American Closets Are Filled With

You're Almost Always Better Off Keeping Your Mouth Shut, But Don't Let That Stop You From Popping Off.

It's Not So Much That I Write Well, I Just Don't Write Badly Very Often And That Passes For Good On Television.

Never Trust The Food In A Restaurant On Top Of The Tallest Building In Town That Spends A Lot Of Time Folding Napkins.

Not Many People In This World Are As Lucky As I've Been. ... All This Time I've Been Paid To Say What Is On My Mind On Television. You Don't Get Any Luckier In Life Than That.

You Really Can't Blame The Military For Wanting To Go To War [in Iraq]. They've Got All These New Toys And They Want To Know Whether They Work Or Not.