An Amicable Divorce Is Like

My Cousin Just Got Married For The Totally Wrong Reasons. She Married A Man For Money. She Wasn't Real Subtle About It. Instead Of Calling Him Her Fiancé, She Kept Calling Him Her Financee.

Life Is Tough Enough Without Having Someone Kick You From The Inside.

Men Who Have A Pierced Ear Are Better Prepared For Marriage - They've Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

Someday I Want To Be Rich. Some People Get So Rich They Lose All Respect For Humanity. That's How Rich I Want To Be.

I Read Recipes The Same Way I Read Science Fiction. I Get To The End And Say To Myself "well, That's Not Going To Happen