Anything That Has Cynicism To

I Knew I Wanted To Be A Performer And Do Comedy At 5 Years Old. My Dad's Wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, Was Boiling Water And She Goes, "what Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?" I Said, "a Comedian." And She Laughed And Laughed Because She Thought That Was The Cutest, Funniest Thing.

Gayness Is A Non-issue.

I Tend To Go Against The Grain Because When I Start To See That Everybody's Trying To Shock, I Try Not To. I Just Do Stuff That's Subtler, More Emotional, And I Think That Shocks People.

I Think So Much Of What Informs Us As Performers Is What We Had To Endure As Kids Growing Up. I Was The Youngest In My Family. I Always Got A Lot Of Attention.

Barbara Bush Has Her Finger On The Pulse Of America. Im So Glad Shes Back And More Compassionate Than Ever, ... Thats Right, Of Course People Just Sat Around New Orleans, Boring, Uninspired, Soulless New Orleans, And Dreamed Of Someday Relocating To The Astrodome. Oh, Dear Lord, If Only I Could Leave My Unhappy Existence And Head On Up To Wonderful Houston And Live With My Friends Side By Side In A Spacious Football Stadium, My Life Would Be So Much Richer And Complete.