Apart From That Mrs Lincoln,

One Of The Problems I See With These Comics On Television, Particularly Cable Television, Is, Since You Can Say Anything In Terms Of Sex And Scatological References And So On, Therefore, You Should Do It. So They All Limit Themselves To These Subjects And This Vocabulary. My Objection Is That It Is A Lack Of Articulateness. Irreverence Is Easy, But What Is Hard Is Wit. Wit Is What These Comedians Lack.

Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let No One Else's Work Evade Your Eyes, Remember Why The Good Lord Made Your Eyes, So Don't Shade Your Eyes, But Plagiarize, Plagiarize, Plagiarize... Only Be Sure Always To Call It Please "research".

Life Is Like A Piano. What You Get Out Of It Depends On How You Play It.

Don't Drink The Water And Don't Breathe The Air!

If, After Hearing My Songs, Just One Human Being Is Inspired To Say Something Nasty To A Friend, Or Perhaps To Strike A Loved One, It Will All Have Been Worth The While.