As A Comic, You Learn

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can Amuse Yourself For More Than An Hour With A Fly Swatter.

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Wife Has A Beer Belly And You Find It Attractive.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Coffee Table Used To Be A Telephone Cable Spool.

I Just Love People. I Love This Country. I Am The American Dream. I Grew Up By The Airport With A Dirt Yard. Never In My Life Should I Have Been A Success. So That's What I Love About This Country [usa], Is You Get Out There And You Have The Opportunity And You Work Hard At It, And You Can Be A Success.