As A Standup Comedian, I've

I'd Much Rather See Richard Pryor Or Jackie Mason In A Theater Than In A Club.

I Am Thankful That All The People In The World Who Absolutely, Positively, Know What God Wants, Usually Kill Mostly Each Other.

I Love My Parents And They're Wonderful People, But They Were Strict, And I Still Look For Ways To Get Even. When I Got My Own Apartment For The Very First Time And They Came To Stay With Me For The Weekend, I Made Them Stay In Separate Bedrooms.

Real Comedy Can't Be Learned; It Comes From A Need For Justice. The Best Who Stand Up, Stand Up For Something.

A Man Who Was Loved By 300 Woman Singled Me Out To Live With Him. Why? I Was The Only One Without A Cat.