At My Lemonade Stand I

I Have A Lot More Things To Talk About Now Because I'm An Adult.

Women: You Can't Live With Them, And You Can't Get Them To Dress Up In A Skimpy Little Nazi Costume And Beat You With A Warm Squash Or Something.

I Was A Cute Baby. My Mom Said When I Was Born They Threw Away The Mold. Some Of It Grew Back.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

When I Was Young, My Father Had A Serious Heart Attack. He Survived, But We Lost Our House And Car. Under The Canadian Medicare System, Though, We Would Have Kept The House And Car And Would Have Just Had To Pay The Inheritance Tax.