Avoid People Who Say They

I Think Of My Life As A Series Of Moments And I've Found That The Great Moments Often Don't Have Too Much To Them. They're Not Huge, Complicated Events; They're Just Magical Wee Moments When Somebody Says 'i Love You' Or 'you're A Really Good At What You Do' Or Simply 'you're A Good Person'.

I Have Been Made Redundant Before And It Is A Terrible Blow; Redundant Is A Rotten Word Because It Makes You Think You Are Useless.

I Used To Have Mad Cow's Disease, But I'm Alright Nooooooooow.

Never Run With Scissors Or Other Pointy Objects.

Don't Buy One Of Those Baby Intercoms. Babies Pretend To Be Dead. They're Bastards, And They Do It On Purpose.