Ban Poetry. And Make Sure

Whoever Called Snooker "chess With Balls" Was Rude, But Right.

Freedom And Diversity Guard Each Other, And If A Country Could Form The Whole Of One's Character, Napoleon Iii And Victor Hugo Would Have Been The Same Person... If National Identity Means Anything, It Means Something That Comes With You Wherever You Go, And Stays With You No Matter How Long You Stay Away.

Television Is Simultaneously Blamed, Often By The Same People, For Worsening The World And For Being Powerless To Change It.

When You Cut It Up, Put The Pieces In Your Mouth And Swallowed Them, The British Hamburger Shaped Itself To The Bottom On Your Stomach Like Ballast, While Interacting With Your Gastric Juices To Form An Incipient Belch Of Enormous Potential, An Airship Which Had Been Inflated In A Garage. This Belch, When Silently Released, Would Cause People Standing Twenty Yards Away To Start Examining The Soles Of Their Shoes. The Vocalized Version Sounded Like A Bag Of Tools Thrown Into A Bog.

The First Language That I Learned Was Italian In Italy In The Early And Middle-'60s And I Had To Do That To Keep Up With The Young Men Who Were Courting My Wife.