Before I Was A Comedian,

Bill Cosby Was The First Comedian I Was Exposed To, Because He Doesn't Curse.

People Really Cared More About Women's Hair. But Nobody Takes You Seriously With Jheri Curls Is What We've Deduced. If You Got An Afro And You Go "fight The Power" People Will Follow You. If You Got A Jheri Curl, People Just Laugh.

Kids Raised On A Culture Of “we’re Not Going To Keep Score In The Game Because We Don’t Want Anybody To Lose.” Or Just Ignoring Race To A Fault. You Can’t Say “the Black Kid Over There.” No, It’s “the Guy With The Red Shoes.” You Can’t Even Be Offensive On Your Way To Being Inoffensive.

You Don’t Need No Gun Control, You Know What You Need? We Need Some Bullet Control. Men, We Need To Control The Bullets, That’s Right. I Think All Bullets Should Cost Five Thousand Dollars… Five Thousand Dollars Per Bullet… You Know Why? Cause If A Bullet Cost Five Thousand Dollars There Would Be No More Innocent Bystanders.

There Are Only Three Things Women Need In Life: Food, Water, And Compliments.