Big News From Last Night's

Honestly, I Just Want To Keep People Awake. Or At Least Give You One Joke To Go To Bed With.

I Read One Chapter Of A Book And Put It Down. Thank God For Kindle.

A New Poll Found That Almost 70 Percent Of Voters Say That Whoever Our Next President Is, They Must Have Political Experience. You Know, Because It Would Be Rude To Say 'anyone But Donald Trump.'

I Was Into The Mets Because My Dad Worked At Ibm Where He Got Free Mets Tickets, So I Was Into The Mets... Then I Got To 'saturday Night Live' Where My Boss Has Unbelievable N.y. Yankees Tickets, So He Invites Us To The Games. I'm Going To All The Games, So I Might As Well Root For The Team I'm Gonna Go Sit With.

During A Speech On Sunday, President Obama Said To The Crowd, 'we've Got To Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote.' This Went On For An Hour Until Someone Finally Fixed His Teleprompter.