Born Again?! No, I'm Not.

America May Be The Best Country In The World, But That's Kind Of Like Being The Valedictorian Of Summer School.

When Your Mother Starts Using The Word "party" As A Verb About Her Kid, That's Absolutely Crazy.

Drop The Veneer Periodically And Be Like "ok, I'm An Imperfect Human. Let's Try To Get Through This."

If I Want Low-impact Aerobics, I'll Masturbate. If I Want High-impact Aerobics, I'll Masturbate Again.

That Receiver Was As Wide Open As Annabel Chong.