Clint Eastwood's Speech Was Kind

The Comedy Gods Are Smiling On Me Tonight, Because I Have Been Saying, For The Longest Time, That President Bush Must Set A Timetable For Removing His Head From His Ass...and, By God, Today They Went In And Looked For It... They Didn't Find It. So Now We Don't Know Where It Is, But At Least For Once In My Life, I Get To See The Words "bush", "operation", And "success" In The Same Sentence.

Only A Bush Could Answer A 'yes' Or 'no' Question Two Different Ways And Be Wrong Both Times.

The Idea That Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus Is A Bunch Of Bullshit. Treat Her Like You Would A Friend, And You'll Wind Up With A Lover.

Glenn Beck Retired Or Got Fired...and A Lot Of People Are Asking Who Will Now Speak For The Raving Lunatics Who Startle You Outside Of A Parking Garage?

Please Stop Assuming That Longevity And Perfect Health Is Always The Correct Option. No. Sometimes Fun Costs Ya. It Just Does, You Know? And That's Ok, You're Willing To Make That Purchase. Sammy Davis, Jr. Was 64 When He Died. Give Me 64 Sammy-years, I'll Be Happy.