Comedy Is A Blood Sport.

I Personally Cannot Tell You How Many Times We Rescuers Put Our Names On Animals To Come To Us As Soon As They Are Eligible For Release, Only To Find They Have Been Senselessly Killed By Overzealous Pound Workers.

I Love My Parents And They're Wonderful People, But They Were Strict, And I Still Look For Ways To Get Even. When I Got My Own Apartment For The Very First Time And They Came To Stay With Me For The Weekend, I Made Them Stay In Separate Bedrooms.

While Editors And Newspaper Owners Currently Fret Over Shrinking Readership And Lost Profits, They Do The One Thing That Insures Cutting Their Own Throats; They Keep Reducing Space For The One Feature That Attracts New Young Readers In The First Place; The Comic Strips.

Have You Noticed That If You Leave The Laundry In The Hamper Long Enough, It's Ready To Wear Again?

When Women Are Depressed, They Eat Or Go Shopping.