Communism Is Like One Big

If You're Going To Stop Masturbating, You Can't Taper Off. You've Got To Quit, Cold Jerky!

There's A Lot Of Money In Wars, Except In The War On Poverty. Can't Make Any Bread Helping The Poor.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

The American Constitution Was Not Written To Protect Criminals; It Was Written To Protect The Government From Becoming Criminals.

Guys Are Like Dogs. They Keep Comin' Back. Ladies Are Like Cats. Yell At A Cat One Time, They're Gone.