Dave! Relax! Close Your Buttcheeks!

The Hardest Thing To Do Is To Be True To Yourself, Especially When Everybody Is Watching.

I Don't Normally Talk About My Religion Publicly Because I Don't Want People To Associate Me And My Flaws With This Beautiful Thing. And I Believe It Is Beautiful Religion If You Learn It The Right Way.

The Language You Are About To Hear... Is Disturbing.

My Kids Look Actually Happy. And I Learned Early On That Perfectionism And Parenthood Is A Toxic Combination For Everybody Involved. In Other Words, So Many Things Can Flourish Naturally. All You Gotta Do Is Make Sure The Soil's Right. I View Myself More Like A Guide Than A Ruler.

No Matter How Old You Are, If A Little Kid Hands You A Toy Phone... You Answer It.