David Letterman Is The Best

My Wife Gave Me A Book Before We Got Married, Oh, The Places You'll Go!, By Dr. Seuss. She Was Trying To Tell Me Something, About What I Was Capable Of, But I Didn't Get It. Over Time, I've Sort Of Lived The Message In That Book, And I Couldn't Have Without What Golf Taught Me. So I Put It In My Bag While I Played The Old Course, And On The Last Hole When I Posed On The Swilcan Bridge, I Held It Up.

People Who Are Homeless, They're Not All Addicts. A Lot Of Times, They're Just People Who, Through Something Like Losing Their Job Or Losing Someone In Their Life, Ended Up On The Streets. So Much Of Our Time Is Spent In Cars That Sometimes You Need To Look Out Of Those Windows. And You See That A Dollar, 50 Cents, Whatever You Have, May Not Mean Much To You, But It Means Everything To People Who Are Hungry And Who Are In Need.

So I Started To Relax And Would Work On My Act Eight Hours A Day, Sitting At A Desk Writing At My Grandmother's House, And I Would Put On Richard Pryor Live On Long Beach And Would Play It Like A Loop And Think And Write

[there's] A Joke That I've Done Forever: 'nowadays They Say That The Largest Majority Of People Will Be Latino And You'll Tell Scary Stories To Your Grandkids: "a Long Time Ago When I Was Growing Up, There Used To Be People Who Were White," And The Kid Says, "really?" And You Say, "yeah, Like The Man Who Cuts Our Grass."' I've Had That Line Forever And I Love It.

My Grandmother Instilled In Me A Toughness That Comes With Survival. She Was A Tough Lady And Never Truly Enjoyed Her Life. She Would Always Worry About Things And I Would Tell Her That It Wasn't Going To Get Her Anywhere And It Didn't. I Wasn't Even That Smart Back Then, But I Knew That Worrying About Everyone Else Wasn't Good For Her Health. As Latinos, We Stress And Worry So Much About The Future When The Future Is Today. As Long As We Protect What's Good In Our Lives, We Will Be All Right.