Diet Coke With Lemon -

For The First Time In History, Sex Is More Dangerous Than The Cigarette Afterward.

According To The L.a. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft Wants To Take "a Harder Stance" On The Death Penalty. What's A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? We're Already Killing The Guy? How Do You Take A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? What, Are You Going To Tickle Him First? Give Him Itching Powder? Put A Thumbtack On The Electric Chair?

Major League Baseball Has Asked Its Players To Stop Tossing Baseballs Into The Stands During Games, Because They Say Fans Fight Over Them And They Get Hurt. In Fact, The Florida Marlins Said That's Why They Never Hit Any Home Runs. It's A Safety Issue.

George W. Bush Loves Golf Because It's Like The Election--low Score Wins.

First There's The Promise Ring, Then The Engagement Ring, Then The Wedding Ring... Soon After... Comes Suffer...ring!