Eddie Murphy Is To Comedians

Black People Have Been Qualified To Be President For Hundreds Of Years. George Washington Carver Could Have Been President. I Could Go On With A List Of Black Men That Were Qualified To Be The President Of The United States. So The Obama Victory Is Progress For White People.

A Comedian Has To Live In His Head. All This Comedy Comes From A Lonely Place. When You're Surrounded By An Entourage, You're Not Living In Your Head.

If A Woman Tells You She's Twenty And Looks Sixteen, She's Twelve. If She Tells You She's Twenty-six And Looks Twenty-six, She's Damn Near Fourty.

Nobody's About Saving Anymore. No One Cares About A Rainy Day Anymore. Nobody Saves Up Enough For Even An Umbrella For A Rainy Day. It's Sad. It Really Is A New Form Of Slavery. We Used To Work To Be Able To Afford Material Things. Now We Work For These Things. They're The Boss. That House You Can't Afford, That Car That's Out Of Your Price Range, That Cellphone That Drains Your Bank Account - That's Your Boss.

I Hate When People Go On Tv And Tell You How Hard It Is To Do Animation. No, No, No. Ups Is Hard Work. I’ve Done Some Animation And Here's How Easy It Is. The Easiest Job In The World. I Go In A Booth And I Go, What’s The Line? And The Guy Goes, It’s Time To Go To The Store. And Then I Go, It’s Time To Go To The Store. And Then They Gave Me $1 Million.