Every Man's Dream Is To

I Have Nothing Against Women. As A Matter Of Fact There's Something About Them That I Love, But I Just Can't Put My Finger On It.

When I Would Be Myself, I Was Being Big-headed. I Was Being Egotistical. I Was A Megalomaniac, When It Really Was Just Having Not To Be A Monkey For A Few Hours A Day. And Fulfilling The Need To Be A Man.

From 1936 On, I Have Taken More Falls Than Any Other 20 Comedians Put Together. From The Time I Was 21, I've Taken Them On Everything From Clay Courts To Cement To Wood Floors, Coming Off Pianos, Going Out A Two-story Window, Landing On Dean, Falling Into The Rough. You Do That And You're Gonna Have Problems.

Don't You Understand How Dramatic It Is To Be A Comic? To Be A Fool, To Get People To Laugh At This Show-off? Milton Berle Could Take Laurence Olivier And Stick Him Under The Table If He Wanted To. And So Could I.

I Get Paid For What Most Kids Get Punished For.