Every Time I Mention Her,

I'm Sitting At The Dinner Table, Wearing My Future Mother-in-law's Underwear. It's Like Some Twisted Dream That You Wake Up And Thinkl Crikey Moses! Thank God That Didn't Really Happen!

You're Working For Me Cut Out The Attitude.

And We Spend The Rest Of The Evening Getting Very Pissed And Eating Ice Cream, As We Always Do When Something Good Or Bad Happens To Either One Of Us.

Everyone Keeps Saying I’ll Pick It Up. But What If I Don’t? I Did Algebra For Three Years, And I Never Picked That Up.

It Was In The Forest. No One Saw It Or Heard It. So Did It Actually Happen?