Folks, I Don't Trust Children.

Other People's Deconstruction Of Your Motivations Doesn't Help You Do What You Do. You Can't Swallow And Think About Swallowing At The Same Time.

It's Time For Me To Give Out An Award To Newly Elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner Was Elected Just A Few Days Ago To Reform House Republicans, Who Are Feeling The Heat From Lobbyist Scandals. Well, Cnn Found Out That He Rents His Two-bedroom Apartment From A Lobbyist Who Had Clients Who Had Interests In Legislation That Boehner Sponsored. And For That, Mr. Boehner, You've Just Won A Pair Of Stephen Colbert's Big Brass Balls.

It Is A Well Known Fact That Reality Has Liberal Bias.

There's Nothing American Tourists Like More Than The Things They Can Get At Home.

I’m The Frosting On America’s Cake, And Tonight I’m Willing To Let You Lick The Bowl.