Following His Doctor's Orders, Nikita

The Old Water Heater In My Dressing Room Was Working, But It Was Kind Of Tired. It Gave Off About As Much Warmth As An Agent's Handshake.

The Good News Is That Jesus Is Coming Back. The Bad News Is That He's Really Pissed Off.

If I Had That Kind Of Money, I Wouldn't Come To Vietnam, I'd Send For It.

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."

Titleist Has Offered Me A Big Contract Not To Play Its Balls.