Forty Million Americans Smoked Marijuana;

Sen. Joe Biden, On The Day Of Announcing His Candidacy For President Of The United States, Called Barack Obama The First Mainstream African-american Who Is Articulate, Bright, And . . . Clean. I Think We've Seen The Shortest Presidential Campaign In History.

Nineteen Percent Of Doctors Say That They'd Be Able To Give Their Patients A Lethal Injection. But They Also Went On To Say That The Patient Would Have To Be Really, Really Behind On Payments.

Vice President Joe Biden Said Today That 'syria Must Be Held Accountable.' Unfortunately, The Obama Administration Has Never Employed An Accountant, So They Have No Idea How To Do That.

Now There Are More Overweight People In America Than Average-weight People. So Overweight People Are Now Average. Which Means You've Met Your New Year's Resolution.

They Say There Are Something Like 12 Million Illegal Immigrants In The Country Right Now, With Another Half A Million Coming Every Year. Remember In The Last Election When The Democrats Claimed There Was Two Americas? Turns Out One Of Them Was Mexico.