Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

There's Only Five Real People In Hollywood. Everyone Else Is Mel Blanc.

I'm An Old Newspaper-man Myself, But I Quit Because I Found There Was No Money In Old Newspapers.

It's Not So Much Knowing When To Speak, When To Pause.

Modesty Is My Best Quality.