Happiness: An Agreeable Sensation Arising

Frying-pan, N. One Part Of The Penal Apparatus Employed In That Punitive Institution, A Woman's Kitchen. The Frying-pan Was Invented By Calvin, And By Him Used In Cooking Span-long Infants That Had Died Without Baptism; And Observing One Day The Horrible Torment Of A Tramp Who Had Incautiously Pulled A Fried Babe From The Waste-dump And Devoured It, It Occurred To The Great Divine To Rob Death Of Its Terrors By Introducing The Frying-pan Into Every Household In Geneva. Thence It Spread To All Corners Of The World, And Has Been Of Invaluable Assistance In The Propagation Of His Sombre Faith.

Digestion, N. The Conversion Of Victuals Into Virtues. When The Process Is Imperfect, Vices Are Evolved Instead - A Circumstance From Which That Wicked Writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, Infers That The Ladies Are The Greater Sufferers From Dyspepsia.

Plebeian, N. An Ancient Roman Who In The Blood Of His Country Stained Nothing But His Hands. Distinguished From The Patrician, Who Was A Saturated Solution.

Indiscretion, N. The Guilt Of Woman.

Past, N. That Part Of Eternity With Some Small Fraction Of Which We Have A Slight And Regrettable Acquaintance... The Past Is The Future Of Yesterday, The Future Is The Past Of To-morrow. They Are One - The Knowledge And The Dream.