Have You Seen That Magazine

You See A Guy With One Leg, He's Got A Story. "land Mine '69." You See A Guy With One Arm, He's Got A Story, Too. "snow Blower, Bottle Of Whiskey." You See A Guy With One Tooth, What Would The Story Be? "well, Uh, I Like A Lot Of Taffy."

Yeah, I Know, Some People Are Against Drunk Driving, And I Call Those People 'the Cops.' But You Know, Sometimes, You've Just Got No Choice; Those Kids Gotta Get To School!

I Don't Have A Girlfriend But Sometimes I Like To Pretend I Do. I Just Stand In My Apartment Screaming No, That's Not What I Said!

The Voice In My Head Has A Stutter, And That's Really Annoying. D-d-d-dave Dave. What? K-k-k-kill Your P-p-p-parents. L-l-l-loa... Write It Down!

What's The Two Things They Tell You Are Healthiest To Eat? Chicken And Fish. You Know What You Should Do? Combine Them, Eat A Penguin.