He Couldn't See A Belt

I Was Born In The Country Of Hogg And Scott Between The Yarrow And The Tweed, In The Year 1864.

The Announcement That You Are Going To Tell A Good Story (and The Chuckle That Precedes It) Is Always A Dangerous Opening.

It Is Easier To Influence Strong Than Weak Characters In Life.

[to Jean Harlow, Who Repeatedly Mispronounced Her First Name:] No, No, Jean. The T Is Silent, As In Harlow.

Till I See Money Spent On The Betterment Of Man Instead Of On His Idleness And Destruction, I Shall Not Believe In Any Perfect Form Of Government.