Hopefully Standup Will Become Special

When You Commit Your Life To Something And It Doesn't Work Out, It Is A Tough Place To Be. Suicide Can Be The Spiritual Reprieve Of A Faithless Person. I Knew I Could Always Just End It, And There Was Solace In That.

I Always Thought I Was Funny, But I Was Very Sensitive, And Very Provocative Just To Get A Rise Out Of People.

Have You Ever Had One Of Those Moments When You Look Up And Realize That You're One Of Those People You See On The Train Talking To Themselves?

What Comics Sacrifice And What Lives They Live - I Know That Most Of Their Lives, Their Adult Lives, They're Sitting Around Or Walking Around With Notebooks, Writing Things Down. Usually They're Fairly Sensitive. Usually They're Very Bright. And That Makes Them Poets.

You Know When You Make Popcorn There Are Always Those Fluffy White Kernels That Are Fun And Good To Eat But There Are Also Always Those Burnt, Black Kernels That Don’t Pop. You Know Why They Don’t Pop? Because They Have Integrity.