Humor Is A Social Lubricant

This Is The Tonight Show. I Can't Tell You Too Much About It, Other Than The Fact That This Program Is Going To Go On Forever.

If There Is A God, The Phrase That Must Disgust Him Is - Holy War.

There Is Scarcely A Page Of The Bible On Which An Open Mind Does Not Perceive A Contradiction, An Unlikely Story, An Obvious Error, An Historical Impossibility Of One Sort Or Another.

Radio Is The Theater Of The Mind; Television Is The Theater Of The Mindless.

To Those Who Wish To Punish Others -- Or At Least To See Them Punished, If The Avengers Are Too Cowardly To Take Matters In To Their Own Hands -- The Belief In A Fiery, Hideous Hell Appears To Be A Great Source Of Comfort.