Hurricane Irene ... The Storm

Senator Rand Paul Reflected On Mitt Romney's Potential 2016 Campaign And Said, 'it's Sort Of What Einstein Said, That The Definition Of Insanity Is To Do The Same Thing Over And Over Again And Expect A Different Result.' When Someone Told Him Einstein Didn't Actually Say That, He Said, 'in The Words Of Gandhi, 'my Bad.''

A Miami Judge Issued Florida's First Gay Marriage License Yesterday, Which Makes It The 36th State To Legally Perform Gay Marriages. Of Course, Most Florida Residents Are Too Old To Understand What That Means. They'll Say, 'well, I Think All Marriages Should Be Gay, And Merry.'

Hillary Clinton Was Actually Inducted Into The Irish American Hall Of Fame Yesterday. Hillary Said She's Very Proud Of Her Irish Heritage Or Her Italian Heritage Or Her Asian Heritage. Whatever It Takes To Seal The Deal With You Guys. I've Got To Get Into That Oval Office.

Researchers In Canada Say They Have Discovered The Part Of The Brain That Is Used To Make Decisions, And This Is Weird: If You're Married, It's Actually Located In Your Wife's Brain.

A 99-year-old Man Is Filing For Divorce From His 96-year-old Wife, Making Them The World's Oldest Divorced Couple. It's Got To Be Weird When A Divorce Lawyer Is Fighting For Your Kids To Get Custody Of You.