I Ain't No Author, Man

I Don't Have Much Of An Attention Span For Tv - I Nod Off During The Basketball Playoffs - But When I Watch 'game Of Thrones' On On Demand, I'm Glued To The Set. It's Mystical And Addictive. Tyrion Lannister, That's My Man.

I'm Here To Tell You, Though, Ladies That The Term "gold Digger" Is One Of The Traps We Men Set To Keep You Off Our Money Trail; We Created That Term For You So That We Can Have All Our Money And Still Get Everything We Want From You Without You Asking For Or Expecting This Very Basic, Instincual Responsibility That Men All Over The World Are Obligated To Assume And Embrace. ... Know This: It Is Your Right To Expect That A Man Will Pay For Your Dinner, Your Movie Ticket, Your Club Entry Fee, Or Whatever Else He Has To Pay For In Exhange For Your Time.

It's A Woman's Right To Know A Man's Intentions Upfront. Because, Once You Get Emotionally Attached To A Man And You Sleep With Him, It's Too Late.

I Tell People I'm A Stand-up Comedian Two Hours A Week. The Rest Of The Time, I'm Somebody's Husband, I'm Somebody's Father. I'm A Man. I Take Great Pride In That.

If I Were An Animal, I'd Probably Be A Bald Eagle, Since I'm Already Bald And I Love To Fish. But I'd Probably Be A Shaky-ass Eagle Because I'm Afraid Of Flying.