I Always Wanted To Be

I Want As Much Time In The Darkness As I Can Possibly Have. The Darkness Provides Cover, The Darkness Provides Places To Hide And The Darkness Provides Comfort. Darkness Usually Comes Around Dinner, But Dinner Would Be Too Obvious.

But We Are What We Are, And Humans Will Always Hate.

In Life We Often Look To Others For Simple, But Difficult Answers, Despite The Fact That We Have Those Answers Ourselves.

My Life Is Routine. I Wake Up Early In The Morning. I Brush My Teeth. I Sit On The Floor Of The Cell I Do Not Go To Breakfast. I Stare At A Gray Cement Wall. I Keep My Legs Crossed My Back Straight My Eyes Forward. I Take Deep Breaths In And Out, In And Out, And I Try Not To Move. I Sit For As Long As I Can I Sit Until Everything Hurts I Sit Until Everything Stops Hurting I Sit Until I Lose Myself In The Gray Wall I Sit Until My Mind Becomes As Blank As The Gray Wall. I Sit And I Stare And I Breathe. I Sit And I Stare. I Breathe.

I Have Lived Alone, I Have Fought Alone, I Have Dealt With The Pain Alone. I Will Die Alone. I Think When I'm Going To Leave. I Don’t Want To Be Seen And I Don’t Want To Be Followed , I Want To Disappear Quickly And Quietly And Without Any Drama , I Want As Much Time In The Darkness As I Can Possibly Have . The Darkness Provides Cover, The Darkness Provides Places To Hide And The Darkness Provides Comfort.