I Am A Hip-hop Artist,

I Can Honestly Say I've Never Sold Any Arms To A Repressive Foreign Regime While Reassuring Everyone At Home That The Weapons Will Be Used For Nice Things.

I Have Two Brothers And We Basically Spent Our Lives Playing In The Woods, Falling In Ponds, Getting Chased By Wasps And Riding Donkeys That We Shouldn't Have Been Riding.

My Mum Is Bright, Ambitious, Well Read, Political And Very Bolshie: When My Dad Was Conscripted Into The Army And Posted To Libya, She Convinced Some General To Let Her Go With Him. I Don't Know How She Managed It.

Christians Have Always Been Fodder For Comedians Who Have Tended To Portray Them As Anoraks - Slightly Clammy, Beatifically Smiley Dullards With Barely A Personality Between Them.

Everything Becomes Magnified At Night. Sounds Travel In A Different Way, It's Dark, And Everything Seems Far More Spooky.