I Couldn't Direct Because I'm

Apparently On The Screen I Look Tall, Ageless, And Damned Close To Omniscient-delivering Jeopardy-laden Warnings Through Gritted Teeth. But When People See Me On The Street, They Say 'by God, This Kid Is 5 Foot 5, He's Got A Broken Nose, And Looks About As Foreboding As A Bank Teller On A Lunch Break.'

I Just Want People To Remember Me A Hundred Years From Now. I Don't Care That They're Not Able To Quote Any Single Line That I've Written. But Just That They Can Say, "oh, He Was A Writer." That's Sufficiently An Honored Position For Me.

I Don't Have Any System. I Dictate A Lot, Through A Machine, And I Also Have A Secretary. But I Used To Type Just Like Everybody Else.

It Is Difficult To Produce A Television Documentary That Is Both Incisive And Probing When Every Twelve Minutes One Is Interrupted By Twelve Dancing Rabbits Singing About Toilet Paper.

Every Writer Is A Frustrated Actor Who Recites His Lines In The Hidden Auditorium Of His Skull.