I Didn't Become A Comedian

For Months There Have Been Rumors That J.lo Is Finally Pregnant With Marc Anthony's Baby. She Was Afraid It Might Never Happen. I'm Afraid It's Going To Look Like Marc Anthony.

I'm Always Happy To Pitch In And Do Something. Everybody Needs To Be Laughing A Little.

What About Your Constitutional Right To Bear Arms, You Say. I Would Simply Point Out That You Don’t Have To Exercise A Constitutional Right Just Because You Have It. You Have The Constitutional Right To Run For President Of The United States, But Most People Have Too Much Sense To Insist On Exercising It.

Ivory's The Kind Of Girl Who Gets Drunk And Immediately Starts Slurring. I Have A Lot Of Friends Like That, And I Think It's Because It Makes Me Look 'more Together.

This Kind Of Mixing Of Ingredients Happens All The Time At Fast-food Places... You Know When You Order French Fries And There's A Rogue Onion Ring At The Bottom. You Know, At First You're Alarmed But You Eat It. It All Comes From The Same Place! You Just Have To Go For It.