I Didn't Choose To Be

My Whole Comic Persona Is That Of A Guy Who Explores The Id: I Romanticize Gluttony, I Romanticize Laziness, And People Identify With That.

If I Was On An Airplane, The People In Coach Would Know Who I Am. But No One In First Class Would Know.

Is There A Homeless Guy Built In To The Design Of Dunkin' Donuts? ...there'll Be An Entrance Here... A Deranged Lunatic Here.

You Can Never Find The Right Bowling Ball. This One's Too Heavy. This One's Good But Its Pink!

Cancer Is Always Funny.