I Don’t Define Myself By

Back Up Shall We? When My Brother, The Crazy Chicken Warrior, Turned Into A Falcon And Went Up The Pyramid’s Chimney With His New Friend, The Fruit Bat, He Left Me Playing Nurse To Two Very Wounded People—which I Didn’t Appreciate, And Which I Wasn’t Particularly Good At.

Oh, Did You Expect Me To Play Fair?" Cupid Laughed. "i Am The God Of Love. I Am Never Fair.

Whats Up, Seaweed Brain?

“there’s My Baby!” I Cried, Quite Carried Away. “there’s My Poochiekins!” Ammit Ran At Me And Leaped Into My Arms, Nuzzling Me With His Rough Snout. “my Lord Osiris!” Disturber Lost The Bottom Of His Scroll Again, Which Unraveled Around His Legs. “this Is An Outrage!” “sadie,” Dad Said Firmly, “please Do Not Refer To The Devourer Of Souls As Poochiekins.”

I Never Thought I'd Get To See Rome," Hazel Said. "when I Was Alive, I Mean For The First Time, Mussolini Was In Charge. We Were At War." "mussolini?" Leo Frowned. "wasn't He Like Bff's With Hitler?" Hazel Stared At Him Like He Was An Alien. "bff's?" "never Mind." "i'd Love To See The Trevi Fountain," She Said. "there's A Fountain On Every Block," Leo Grumbled. "or The Spanish Steps," Hazel Said. "why Would You Come To Italy To See Spanosh Steps?" Leo Asked. "that's Like Going To China For Mexican Food, Isn't It?" "you're Hopeless," Hazel Complained. "so I've Been Told.