I Don't Have Any Ambition.

I've Been Offered Political Shows Before, And I Don't Know Anything About Politics And I Feel Uncomfortable Making Political Opinions - There's Consequences To Them. I Often Think I'm Wrong, So I Really Don't Like Getting In Political Or Religious Discussions Because Of The Giant Possibility That I Might Be Wrong.

The Character Of Giving Advice Often Makes Us Accountable For The Conduct Of Those We Advise.

I Went To A Hypnotist. He Put Me Under A Spell, And Every Time I Had A Craving For A Cigarette, I Would Throw Up. It's Very Embarrassing Right After Sex. I Find It Pretty Hard To Get That Second Date After That. Girls Get All Snobby After You Barf On Them.

In Estimating The Adversities Of Life, We Would Seldom Have Much Reason To Complain Of The Evils We Suffer, Did We Understand The Dangers We Daily Escape.

I'm No Good At Anything But Comedy, Which I Think I'm Good At. I'm Absolutely No Good At Networking; I'm Terrible At Acting; I'm Terrible At Dealing With Executives; I'm Terrible At Collaborating. And I Say Whatever I Want To Say. But I Think I'm Good Enough At Comedy That I Can Survive. And I Don't Really Have An Ambition For Money.